Break ups 3 - Missing them | CallMeRuby

Okay I miss him, a lot actually...

I try not to let myself think about it but sometimes it's hard to avoid, I end up thinking of all those things I want to do in the future that I trying to imagine him not being there, but I can't, and I know I'm only young and some people reading this will think I'm over reacting, but I'm just being honest about my feelings, it may help someone someday, and it's helping me right now.

What is probably making this 20x worse is all the memories, they're taking over my life! Every where i turn there is something that reminds me of him, either a look that someone gave me or something that someone does, its awful! Especially as i have memories all over my room, pictures, presents, tiny things like train tickets.

Today, i made a big step, he bought me a necklace in May for my birthday and i haven't taken it off since, probably because it was a constant reminder that he loved me, turns out, he doesn't anymore, so today for the first time in 6 months, i took it off. This was hard but it helped, if your going through a break up too (otherwise, why would you be reading this blog?) then i would suggest, getting all the memories out of our life and storing them somewhere you will not easily come across them (either physically or mentally). And don't look at them until you can see them as just objects, and not upsetting memories, this may sound sad, but it will really help you.

Break ups 2 - looking back | CallMeRuby

I have just realised that in my first break-up blog, I never mentioned about the start of my break up, purely because it was basically full off crying, singing to myself in my room (see below) , and eating a LOT of binge foods (seriously, put on like a stone). Obviously this is what everyone goes through, and if you're in this part right now, then reading this might help, knowing that someone else is feeling the exact same as you is a real comfort I found.

After it happened, I didn't really believe it at first so i didn't really react, until i didn't talk to him for a few days and it hit me, I felt so alone, he wasn't just my boyfriend, he was honestly my best friend (sounds cliché, but he honestly was) so I felt like I had no one, only recently have i realised that i did/do have a lot of people who cared about me and I was just to scared to ask for their help, but it would of honestly helped me so much if I did. So if you feel like this at the moment, I promise you there is people there for you, whether your close to them or not, just think if someone who you weren't particularly close to asked you for your help because they were having a hard time, would you help? I hope so, and so will others to you.

I ended up basically begging him to get back with me, sounds quite stupid and desperate I know, but I was quite desperate at that time. We did end up getting back together after that though. For 1 night. Then he broke up with me again... back to the binge eating and crying...
It made feel like crap doing through this stage but is honestly good to get through it, so for a couple of weeks just let yourself be sad! Binge eat, cry, write angry letters to the guy then throw them out, write a diary about it, or even a blog! Just let yourself be sad because this is your time to care completely about yourself, it will honestly help so much.

After this stage just keep busy, talk to a lot of people (except the guy, definitely cut off all contact with him, I didn't at the start and it just made me sad, so please at least do this if nothing else), meet up with them, and make sure you never feel lonely because that's when the sadness starts to eat you up, when there's nothing to take your mind of it. Avoid this at all costs.

About 4 weeks into the break up and I am barely talking to him, still quite in love, but getting over it bit by bit, there are moments where I break down and cry because I miss him so much, but the majority of the time I can push it to the back of my mind, still think there's quite a long way to go though, but I'll keep you updated.

<-literally like this for the first 2 weeks                                                                                (but without the boat, obviously)

                         (18-50 secs)

Break-ups 1 - the start | CallMeRuby

23/12

I have recently been through a very hard break-up and to be honest, am still in the middle of it, after a lot of googling, most people said it helps to write things down or start a journal so instead of keeping my feelings a secret, I thought id put it in my blog and maybe i can help someone else in my position and also help me to feel better, so this will probably be frequently updated, and after all breaking up and being depressed in general is a very big part of life and my blog is about 'all things life'.

First of all, the back story, I first went out with this boy in June 2012, i was extremely shy and it was a very awkward relationship so after about 3 months i ended it, but i didn't want to lose him completely so i made sure we stayed friends, which we did, but it didn't take long before we started sort of seeing each other in secret, but with the decrease in pressure for me to be the perfect girlfriend, i became myself and actually became really close to him which was great, but i didn't want to go out with him again, but he did and wouldn't stop asking me, this lasted about a year, a year of either arguing or being insanely happy. and after a year we had a massive argument and ended up getting back together finally. 2 months of arguing and breaking up and getting back together went on until about 1 week ago when it ended properly, so here i am, trying to deal with it...

3/1 

After being so in love with him that I could bare the thought of losing him out of my life I tried to stay friends, I didn't go very well as if he talked about other girls I felt physically sick, and if he ignored me I wanted to cry, sounds stupid and pathetic I know but if you've ever been in love you'll (unfortunately) understand, so I texted him a lot, until Christmas eve when I had the worst night yet, it was hard because he was treating me so bad so I decided to stop talking to him and actually try to move on, for a week and a bit of not talking to him I made sure I stayed busy, I was always with friends/family or at work, I never let myself be alone with my thoughts because I know that's what would make me depressed, I am now sort of over him and I've tried to be friends with him again but its just made it 10 times worst as I think I'm going to fall in love with him again.

I don't think I've even fully accepted that its over yet though, so I'm constantly scared for when I do.

By the way, I'm not saying that this is going to be like your situation or do anything that I have do because ever persons situation is different, and no matter how bad your feeling, and no matter how much it feels like the end of the world, its not and I promise you it will get better even know you cant see that now.