23/12
I have recently been through a very hard break-up and to be honest, am still in the middle of it, after a lot of googling, most people said it helps to write things down or start a journal so instead of keeping my feelings a secret, I thought id put it in my blog and maybe i can help someone else in my position and also help me to feel better, so this will probably be frequently updated, and after all breaking up and being depressed in general is a very big part of life and my blog is about 'all things life'.
First of all, the back story, I first went out with this boy in June 2012, i was extremely shy and it was a very awkward relationship so after about 3 months i ended it, but i didn't want to lose him completely so i made sure we stayed friends, which we did, but it didn't take long before we started sort of seeing each other in secret, but with the decrease in pressure for me to be the perfect girlfriend, i became myself and actually became really close to him which was great, but i didn't want to go out with him again, but he did and wouldn't stop asking me, this lasted about a year, a year of either arguing or being insanely happy. and after a year we had a massive argument and ended up getting back together finally. 2 months of arguing and breaking up and getting back together went on until about 1 week ago when it ended properly, so here i am, trying to deal with it...
3/1
After being so in love with him that I could bare the thought of losing him out of my life I tried to stay friends, I didn't go very well as if he talked about other girls I felt physically sick, and if he ignored me I wanted to cry, sounds stupid and pathetic I know but if you've ever been in love you'll (unfortunately) understand, so I texted him a lot, until Christmas eve when I had the worst night yet, it was hard because he was treating me so bad so I decided to stop talking to him and actually try to move on, for a week and a bit of not talking to him I made sure I stayed busy, I was always with friends/family or at work, I never let myself be alone with my thoughts because I know that's what would make me depressed, I am now sort of over him and I've tried to be friends with him again but its just made it 10 times worst as I think I'm going to fall in love with him again.
I don't think I've even fully accepted that its over yet though, so I'm constantly scared for when I do.
By the way, I'm not saying that this is going to be like your situation or do anything that I have do because ever persons situation is different, and no matter how bad your feeling, and no matter how much it feels like the end of the world, its not and I promise you it will get better even know you cant see that now.
No comments:
Post a Comment